Hello Catherine,
First of all, relax, relax, breathe deeply, relax more. Get in a warm bath if this helps, with sun glasses on and just a candle light in the bathroom. Have a quiet moment with your baby. The little one has been on your emotional roller coaster in the last few days, also has been shocked by the ecv. Feel this baby, is he/she shy, boshy, stuck, uncertain? all babies respond to loving contact and trusting intent. After all, if they come out breech in your family, this one may well follow the trend. Please apply yoga principles to this situation. Actually, it's rather common sense. If you are stressed and tense, all the caring team around you will escalate the stress. Everyone is IN FEAR but it's largely irrational. Your email shows that you are aware of the loop: fear of suing, fear of malpractice, but actually it can be done, midwives have done it, your nanna has done it. Recently a Cambridge mother in Sally Lomas's class opted to have a breech birth at home and it went fine. Brave midwife. Acknowledge the circle of fear and step out of it, just for a moment. Trust that the best way can be found, whatever this is going to be, for your baby and you. Then you receive support, because no one likes this climate of fear and all are committed to support you. They would not do this job otherwise!
Why should you not be able to relax in a hospital environment? you might need props for your senses: one or more selected images that induce relaxation for you. A scent that you can douse on your hankie to reach your olfatic membranes and release endorphins right then. A special tune or song that you can hum or sing when you feel the tension well up, to force you to breathe slowly and deeply, also reaching your baby with your voice. What else? do you trust your birth partner?
Rolling movements on all fours during labour can help a breech baby turn if the supported inverted positions have not worked previous to labour. Still worth trying... Then, the best birth position for a breech is not squatting, particularly for a western woman not used to squatting, because it is the delivery of the baby's head that is the most tricky part of a breech delivery and this could be awkward in a squatting position, even if you were perched on the bed in easy view for the midwife. In my experience of attending breech births (I saw two successful breech births at Hinchinbrooke hospital and attended an accidental podalic-one foot presenting first-birth at home) the best position by far is standing. This is also recommended by Janet Balaskas and I think by Michel Odent. Stand soft yet strong, knees slightly bent, legs comfortably apart, arms supported by people on each side if possible, let your contractions drop the baby's body, then the head, all in one flow.
Most of all, relax and tell your baby how much you love and trust her/him and you will be OK through this together.
Francoise.